moderation

I was just thinking that I should be more open minded and more outgoing.  More willing to try new things and be less judgmental of people.

When I see a hippie or a vegan or a liberal, I immediately begin to hate them and everything I assume they stand for.  Maybe I'm just jealous that I have no foundation or core belief in any one thing enough to center my life around it.

It's very dark and scary to go through life with no direction and no real goals.  I mean, there are things I want to do, go to law school, work as a DJ, but nothing that I really always wanted to do.

It would be easy to say the marine corps took that from me, and in a way it kind of did.  I just don't buy into the hype anymore and I'm stuck doing this for another almost year.  This feels like deja vu.  I got out before and it didn't go very well.  The situation is a little different and I've grown tremendously in the last few years.  I don't have any real debt and I'm saving at least enough to move some place and survive.

Its hard to be out going and less judgmental out here in a military community, especially when you are distancing yourself from all things military.

I've never really been in a fight.  Not a real one.  I really want to.  I think it will show me a lot about myself.

I want to have kids.  I want to raise a child of my own.  When I meet new women, I try to figure out what kind of mom they will be, how their genetics will be passed down, if they are a good match for the sole purpose of having babies.  Is that fucked up?

I wish more people followed and commented on this.  In all its anonimity, being honest with yourself out loud on the internet is really pointless if no one cares to read it.